Survival Instincts are present in a human being since birth. As we grow, survival instincts are impaired because of the increased comforts and societal influences. We forget to thrive in failure and only expect a positive outcome in every situation. But, we all know that’s not how life works! When you resist to accept a failure, you lack solutions and plans to survive the dearth. The society only shows the happy face and when you start to blindly follow what is not an innate ability to you, that’s going to bring a lot of chaos into our lives. This behaviour also hampers our mental growth. Attitudes, perspectives and moods will be altered leading to blunt behaviours and depression.
Ideally, decisions about children are to be taken by the parents. Ofcourse, these decisions have to be healthy and inspiring. Although, need based opinions from doctors and psychologists are always encouraged. It is very common for parents to seek advice from various sources (including google now-a-days).
Most of the times, the pressure of raising a child is directly proportional to the amount of competition prevailing in the society. The more competitive we view the society, the more pressurized we feel while raising the child. For many centuries, it has been all about how much progress the neighbour’s child has achieved, and how much salary the relative’s adult (child) is earning! There are many more things that create an impact on how we raise our children. We want them to be like someone else who is successful, has a good income, has got a car and a house, a settled spouse with 2 kids. These are the dreams that many parents see for their children. But is this the right way of Parenting? Ofcourse, we don’t want to judge anyone. It is important to stay aware that certain concepts of parenting needs a good polish.
Competition is generally a word that is used in sports. ‘Competition’ must be positive and sportive. When you see 7 runners running for a competition, you also see that their training is given equally along with their food intake (ofcourse will be customised for the needs). Not every sports person is selected for the running race because each one has got a different skill set. Similarly, Competition cannot be applied in real life with children having various skill sets, different backgrounds with many environmental possibilities. Comparison can build and as well destroy the confidence of a human being.
When a parent dreams of their children becoming an engineer, a doctor, an MBA, an accountant etc; they are missing out on the smallest details of their children. What are the smallest details of a child? Does it really matter what a child thinks!? It is useless to understand a child because they aren’t aware of anything in the world! A child does not know what they want ! These are some of the wrong notions that many adults have.
Every child has their skill sets and it is very important to see the positive side, in which a parent thinks as a weakness of the child.
How do we develop a child’s lifestyle?
1. Always use positive affirmations with your children. Tell them they have done a good job. 2. Discouraging conversations can make a child insecured and might diminish their confidence levels. 3. Forcing the children to get things done can make them rebellious or averse to the situations. 4. Good lifestyle must be developed since inception from the age of one and above. That’s the age which instills a positive or a negative impression on their minds. 5. Firm and agressive treatment though is not always suggestible but in some cases if that helps, it must be done in an ethical and safe way. 6. Threatening children and abusing them shouldn’t be encouraged on a daily basis. It is better to always consider child counselling before arriving to conclusions. 7. Counselling will help the child for a healthy progress mentally and physically. 8. Comparing children will not always help in their development because every child is unique in their own way. 9. Never rub your dreams and intentions on your children as that will only inhibit their own thought process and skill development. 10. Always teach your children to adapt for changes in various stages of life. 11. Educate them about how to thrive in a failure and also encourage them to work hard.
Manisha K Founder- NUtreboot (food and fitness)
Clinical Nutritionist | Registered Yoga Teacher
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